You Need Adult Alone Time | Become A Cruiser
You Need Adult Alone Time

You Need Adult Alone Time

Sailing with kids is hugely rewarding, but adult alone time is important to keep your relationship healthy. Have a look at why cruising is great for families. As with anything in life, it’s all about balance. 38 Feet, even on a catamaran, can often be a small space. Over the years we have noticed, even though we live in such close proximity, my husband and I could go days without truly connecting.

About a year ago, we found we were bickering way more than usual. When we talked about it, we realized even though we are together all the time, we didn’t have any adult alone time. So we decided to do something about it. Now we make a concerted effort to make sure we take some adult alone time for ourselves each day.

So How Do You Get Adult Alone Time?

You Need Adult Alone Time
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Sharing a perfect sunrise with your partner is a perfect way to start the day.

Get Up Before The Kids Do

I know you are going to say – no way, I hate getting up early. I am the same. My husband is an early bird, and I love sleeping in. Initially, I tried the wake up early method for a week, and it worked so well that I’m now happy to be up early every morning.

I have a hammock chair, which I hang off the back of the boom above the back transom step. I sit in my hammock chair, and my husband sits on the transom step just below me, with a comfy cushion. Because I take a while to wake up, my hammock is the perfect place for me.

We are usually up at 05:30 just before sunrise, before it gets too hot. Adult alone time is the best way to start the day. Enjoying time alone with each other, our coffee, and slowly easing into the morning. This way we can be fully awake, having had a coffee before the instant action that takes place when our kids open their eyes.

Enjoy The Sunset Together

You Need Adult Alone Time
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A magnificent sunset we enjoyed together in Tahaa, French Polynesia

At about 5:30 every evening, we grab two comfy cushions and sit on our aft transom top step together. We grab a beer and spend an hour, sometimes an hour and a half just sitting, chatting, watching the sun going down, enjoying each other’s company. That is if we aren’t socializing with friends.

Our kids know that this is our alone time. It also happens to coincide with their TV time. We have trained the kids to leave us alone during this time.

How We Trained Our Kids To Give Us Alone Time

It took us quite a while to train our kids to give us alone time. We used to be interrupted every five minutes. Then we started TV time at the same time of the day we wanted alone time. This worked quite well, still does, but it wasn’t foolproof.

When my kids were doing something during the day that they were absorbed in, I started bugging them. Talking to them, cuddling them, just irritating them. When they got frustrated, I told them that as much as they want some alone time at times so do we.

We have a deal now. I leave them alone when they are involved in something, and they do the same for us when we are having adult time in the evenings. Once they got on board with the deal, it was easy. We rarely have to remind them that it’s adult time anymore. It’s just the way afternoons work on the boat.

Once our alone time is over we all sit down and have dinner together. Enjoying each other’s company as a family.

I hope this is useful and you manage to work out having some adult alone on your boat. I find if mom and dad are happy and in a good place, the whole family is happy too.

Nic

Hi, I’m Nic! Our Family of four have been out cruising since 2016. We have sailed about 15,000nm, almost halfway around the world. We sold everything, took the leap of faith, and bought a 10-year-old Lagoon 380 ex-charter catamaran. We’ve fixed every system on the boat, often more than once. Cruising has been such a wonderful, positive experience for our family that I want to share my tips to help you Become a Cruiser.


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